I am a sex addict, and my spouse knows … what do we do? If you have inappropriate sexual behaviors like pornography addiction, infidelity, compulsive masturbation, etc. and your wife knows; a difficult step is out of the way but there is a journey ahead of you. And a journey for your spouse.
Your wife (or husband) may be living in a world of hurt, self-doubt, anger, and more emotions.
You may be feeling out of control and shame. The shame can restart the addiction cycle, triggering an inappropriate sexual behavior to temporarily feel better.
Check out what Paul has to say about our actions …
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. What a wretched man I am!”
You know what is good and, just by being on this website, you have a deep desire to restore intimacy in your marriage.
It is recommended that you meet with your pastor, a church leader of the same sex, or a trusted friend and share what you are going through – this person will be your accountability partner. If your wife (or husband) will join you, have your accountability partner bring their spouse as well.
You will be able to confess your struggles and allow your spouse to share their feelings.
From there, you should both seek out support groups in your area. There are groups for those battling sexual integrity and separate groups for spouses of sex addicts.
Your accountability partner will hold you to your word that you will seek help. Their spouse should immediately begin reaching out to your spouse to support them.