My Husband Is Addicted to Porn: What Do I Do?

In the age of smartphones, just about anything you can imagine is accessible at the push of a button. For better or worse, this includes a nearly endless stream of pornography.

Unfortunately, that ease of access can lead down a dark path for some. While pornography is largely viewed as an acceptable or at least tolerable aspect of our culture, some research suggests that it can have serious negative effects.

One of those effects is addiction. If you’ve found yourself thinking, “my husband is addicted to porn,” you know how serious a problem it can be. 

Luckily, you’re not alone. We’ve put together this guide on what you can do if your husband is addicted to porn.

1. It’s Not Your Fault

When you first discover your husband’s porn addiction, your first instinct will likely be shock. Your next will be to blame yourself. It’s natural for you to wonder if you aren’t doing enough as a partner or if he no longer finds you attractive, but that’s not the case.

In actuality, studies have shown that there’s no substantial link between real life sexual habits and porn addiction. The addiction isn’t about sex as much as it is about filling an emotional void.

You could be the best partner in the world and that still wouldn’t fix this. It’s a problem that originated within your husband and that only he is responsible for. As hard as it may seem, do your best to not let it affect your sense of self-worth.

2. Talking About It

If you discovered his porn addiction without him revealing it to you, you now face the difficult task of confronting him about it. This can be daunting, but it’s of the utmost importance that you do it.

When broaching the subject, it’s important to be delicate but direct. Accusatory tones will only cause your partner to retreat. On the other hand, you can’t beat around the bush.

Coming out and saying what you mean is imperative, but understand that this is a struggle for him too. Like any addiction, this is a thing that weighs on your husband constantly and shaming him for it won’t help.

3. If He Wants Help

If the conversation goes well and he agrees that he needs help, that’s great! Admitting he has a problem is a huge step. 

After taking that step, the next thing to do is to seek counseling; either a professional counselor or in a support group. This might be a long and arduous process, but by working together, being supportive, and seeking professional guidance, it’s absolutely navigable. 

4. If He Doesn’t

When your husband won’t admit to his problem, you have a much different situation on your hands. In this scenario, there are a few things to note.

For one thing, you can’t force the issue. If he’s not ready to face this, there’s nothing you can do to make him. Practicing a little patience might yield more positive results than pushing him outside of his comfort zone too quickly.

If the situation needs immediate resolution, you can look into hiring an intervention specialist. This is a person who is trained to intervene on your behalf and confront your partner about his issue. From there, the process will look much the same as above, with therapy and teamwork being the key factors.

Stick with it and be patient. Even with a rocky start, this is something that can be beaten.

“My Husband Is Addicted to Porn but He Can Beat It”

Once you’ve confronted the thought, “my husband is addicted to porn,” don’t stop there. Assure yourself that this is something he can beat because it is. With your love and support, you’ll find yourself on the other side of this and stronger for it.

If you find yourself discouraged during the process, don’t despair. Prayer and scripture can be an excellent guide to help you navigate it. Read on for some inspirational words.  

Brockwell

Brockwell has served on the Communications Team at L.I.F.E. Recovery since 2000.

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