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Stories about addiction, recovery, and continued relationship with God help others know that they are not alone in their addiction, encourages many, and shares ideas.
Sex Addict Stories by:
When Sexual Addiction Invades your Marriage
We had a beautiful fairytale wedding. I had married the man of my dreams. He was my knight and I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. It was only a few months after our “fairytale” began that things started to grow dim. I remember asking him “why do you stay up late when I go to bed earlier?” “Why do you seem so distant sometimes?” There were times when he was attentive and connected and other times when he seemed miles away, angry and preoccupied. I remember the first “episode” which was attached to a lie. They always seem to go hand in hand. I noticed a website that was very upsetting to me on our computer. The man at the computer store said that someone had visited the site for it to be on our computer. I brought this to his attention and he denied ever going to this site and became very defensive. I dropped it for awhile but I couldn’t get rid of the sick feeling in my stomach. I came down stairs one night to find him quickly turning off the TV and again felt that awful feeling in my heart and stomach. My heart was pounding and I felt so sick. Then again began the denial and the lies. He was defensive and tried to make me feel like I was crazy. I grew more and more lonely, sad and confused. I didn’t have any concrete definite “proof” but my body, heart and mind were screaming “something is really wrong!” We were expecting our first child together and I wanted so much to believe that maybe I was wrong and this was all just a bad dream/nightmare. When I received our visa bill and there was a strange charge to our account my heart started to pound again and I confirmed what I had already known all along. The charge was to a place that was anything but an establishment that a true “gentlemen” would go to. I knew that this was not going to just “go away”, I knew we needed help. I was angry, confused, hurt beyond belief. The deep agony of betrayal was almost too much to bear. Images that I didn’t even know I had in my mind started to appear before me and part of me was completely numb. I didn’t know I was capable of such an array of emotions. I confronted my husband; I could not and would not tolerate his lies and denial anymore. I told him that he had to seek help to deal with this problem. He finally was honest with me and strangely I felt a sense of relief. I wasn’t crazy. I believe he felt a sense of relief as well. This began our journey into the unknown world of sexual addiction, compulsive behavior and codependency. It has been almost unbearable at times but it has also been filled with the most unexpected, precious gifts and moments of peace that definitely surpass ALL understanding. The LORD revealed my husband’s brokenness to me and I can say that I truly love him MORE than I did the day that I married him. God has also shown me my brokenness and how he loves me so much despite my own faults and failures. It is a difficult path for both of us but I have learned and continue to learn what love really is. The illusion of my fairytale was shattered but our Lord Jesus is picking up the pieces and putting them back together one by one!