Sharing your story (available anonymously) is a great way to express your feelings and possibly relieve tension knowing that someone will read it and know.
Stories about addiction, recovery, and continued relationship with God help others know that they are not alone in their addiction, encourages many, and shares ideas.
Sex Addict Stories by:
The Stolen Heart
by Peggy K
First of all, I want to give glory to God. He loves us no matter what we’ve done, or where we’ve been. He is a God of second chances, and he has given me that gift. Most of my life because of my addiction, I failed to understand that God loves us, even if no one else does. His love is complete, and will cover us, encompass us, and carry us through all of life’s trials. Recovery is not possible without him. It’s you and God against the world.
My story is probably not much different than yours. I was the typical "girl next door", the all-American girl, who grew up in suburbia U.S.A. To everyone around me, I appeared to be the perfect daughter, sister, wife and mother, but my whole life was a lie. I, and others like me were very good at hiding the truth, and no one was aware of my secret. To the outside world, I looked perfectly normal, but it was a false façade. If someone would have asked me at 15, if I would be willing to spend 39 years of my life trapped in a "sexual addiction", in order for God to prepare me "first hand" to help other women heal and restore their lives, I would have said, "No way, not me!" That wouldn’t have been my plan, or the way I envisioned my life playing out. This group is not only healing for others, but also for myself. If given the chance, I would never have chosen this life, or traveled this road of pain and self-destruction. I just never realized how sick and emotionally needy that I had become. I grew up in a home with little religious or moral training, and was never told "I love you", by either parent, and was so desperate for love, attention, and affection, that I looked for love in all the wrong places.
My downward spiral, that was my life, until March 2007, began when I was 15. While playing a game of ping-pong at my home with a long-time family friend who was 10 years my elder, I was grabbed and passionately French kissed. I was set-up by a man who was a manipulator, predator, and a petaphile, who groomed me for a lifetime of service. I looked up, and saw my Mom watching through the kitchen doorway. She chose not to protect me, and never said a thing, which was not her temperament. I can only surmise that because he was also a business client, I was thrown on the altar of sacrifice, strictly for financial reasons. What else could explain my Mom not protecting me, which would have been a normal parental response? This was the first romantic, physical contact that I’d had with a man. I was shocked, stunned, and overwhelmed, with no time to react. I was basically swept of my feet, and because I was young, naïve, and emotionally needy, I processed this as love. This feeling was reinforced when he called our house several days later, and told me how much the kiss had meant to him. With that comment, as far as I was concerned, that confirmed the fact that he was in love with me. He taught me, at 15, that I was to expect and accept degrading and immoral treatment from men in romantic relationships. Because I had no self-worth, over a period of 39 years, I became trapped in an emotional bondage and affair with this man, that later progressed into a compulsive sexual addiction that involved both him and other men that I met for sex in degrading places, with no regard for my health, privacy, security, or protection. I had sex with friends, business associates, business sub-contractors, and employees; always searching to fill a void or need that was missing from my childhood.
God has a way of getting our attention, and I was brought to my knees on a Sunday morning in March 2007. After years of him keeping my feet to the fire, suffering all the consequences of my sin, and still ignoring his warnings, he decided to try another route to get my attention. He used my husband to rescue me. I’ve been married to the same man that I met in high school, for 36 years, and he was totally unaware of my secret life. Even though I had infidelities while we were dating, and an affair three years into our marriage, he forgave me, and we moved on with our marriage, so he thought. God told him in a dream that I was having an affair, who it was with, how long it had been going on, where we met, how we communicated, and that there were others. He also said that I would confess everything if approached with this. My moment of truth was when I woke up on that Sunday morning and was confronted by my husband. I confessed everything, just as God had said. After years of hiding behind the truth, I felt as if an incredible weight had been lifted off me. The chains were gone and I was free at last. I repented and asked God for his forgiveness, realizing how much he still loved me. If he had gone through such drastic measures to "pull me out of the fire", he must have felt that I was worth saving, and he must have a plan for my life.
My cross and my burden, I have finally laid down. God welcomed me back with open arms, and is slowly removing my personal condemnation, shame, regret, and wrong mindsets. I am now restoring family relationships, and am renewing my marriage to the person who really was a "gift" from God. The road of recovery can be long and painful for you and your family, and that’s why I’ve seen so many women fail at it. Recovery is a choice, that requires discipline and self-control. If you choose to be well, and ask for God’s help, realizing that you are powerless against this addiction without him, all things are possible. God will free you from all addictions. Will the road you’re on get you to God?
God Bless you on your journey.